


Bad Teacher

by saiasam



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Age Swap, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 21:28:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17251700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiasam/pseuds/saiasam
Summary: Kim Jongin is the worst teacher Kyungsoo has ever had. He skips material, messes around in class, and tests them on things he never explained. When the summer before senior year comes he's ready to forget about the terrible class, even if it's only for a few months. But one night with the wrong person has him thinking that forgetting his teacher won't be as easy as he initially thought.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Reposting this for the squad from my aff. happy new year <3 
> 
> Just remember that his was first written in 2015...

First period Monday morning found Kyungsoo at his desk, waiting for the most useless class in the history of the world, taught by the most useless teacher in the history of the universe, to start. Economics was a class that he needed to graduate and yet it was being taught by what Kyungsoo thought of as an un-qualified dumbass. Three months away from the end of the school year, their old econ teacher had been replaced. He was old and senile, all he knew was economics and what kind of juice didn’t turn his stomach the wrong way, which was fine with Kyungsoo since all he needed was to pass. But then the old geezer was replaced suddenly with some young hotshot who obviously knew nothing about teaching. Mr. Kim, Kim Jongin for most, was an airhead. He knew about econ, yes, but not how to teach it and Kyungsoo despised him.

                He came to class dressed sharply but that was where the professionalism ended. He taught for 20 minutes of their 45 minute class time, then scrolled through his phone or talked to the rest of the class about something dumb like prank videos or his dogs. When he did teach properly, it was only a portion of what was even in the book.  That would be fine if he didn’t write tests based on the book, adding things on market structure and GDP that they never learned about. This meant that Kyungsoo was forced to spend hours after and before class reading up on shit that may or may not be useful. By now, the end of the year, most of the class had come to terms with how useless their econ teacher was. They still loved him, but Kyungsoo thought it may have to do with his body and charming smile. Don’t get him wrong, Mr. Kim was a great guy but that’s not what he really cared about. What Kyungsoo really needed was to pass this class without having to guess what the hell was important.

This particular morning, out of the class of 15, only four students were present: Yixing, Jongdae, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. They were up to their normal routines, Yixing in the corner sleeping or watching skate videos on his phone and Baekhyun freaking out about all the assignments he hasn’t done, has done and may or may not have to do, much too worried for 8 am on a Monday. Kyungsoo was trying to do his reading before class but kept getting distracted by Jongdae who was trying to be as annoying as humanly possible, as per the usual. The particular flavor of annoying depended on the day. On this particular morning, he descided to take up a whole page of Kyungsoo's note-ridden paper with cartoon characters and whatever random shit came to his mind.

“Jongdae, cut it out.”

“Mmhm.” Kyungsoo spotted what might have been Jake being added to the rest of the Adventure Time cast on his book but it might also have been an eggplant for all he knew.

“Dude I mean it, fuck off.” Kyungsoo sulked to himself. It was easy for Jongdae to get this stuff. Both his parents were math teachers and he barely had to listen in order to excel in the class. This meant he could fuck around as much as he wanted, poking fun at their teacher and distracting Kyungsoo from the half-assed teaching that was going on, conveniently dragging Kyungsoo’s grade down in the process.

He was about ready to throttle the boy in front of him when their teacher walked in along with half the rest of the students in their class, which consisted of mostly girls. It was no secret that half the people taking the course were in it for the view at the front of the classroom.

Baekhyun was distracted from his incessant mumbling and worrying by Mr. Kim’s arrival. His eyes gleamed as he eyed the older man’s ass and turned to Kyungsoo with a lewd wink. Kyungsoo scrunched his nose back, mouthed an obvious you disgust me and proceeded to put his head down on the desk, already accepting the sad fate of his class participation grade.

 

 

“Kyungsoo~ Would you let me do this itty bitty thing on you quickly? I promise you’ll like it~”

“Geez Baek what did I tell you about whipping that shit out like that. You’re gonna poke someone’s eyes out.”

Three hours ago, Baekhyun had broken into Kyungsoo’s house and forced him to go and buy an acceptable outfit for going out. They had finished finals and were all set to handle their senior year. Of course, all of Kyungsoo’s grades were in the A to B range, aside from economics, and all he had to worry about was the lashing his mother would give him when she figured out how badly he had done.

Now they were back at Kyungsoo’s house, all dressed and ready in clothes that he had never worn before and probably never would again. His legs were squeezed into skinny jeans for women and an equally tight black v-neck t-shirt with a design on the front.  Baekhyun had tried to get him into some kind of bedazzled monstrosity but that was where he drew the line. He did, however, give Baekhyun credit for the jeans. They made his ass look amazing.

Now they were down to the customary fight over eyeliner while Jongdae sat in the corner and snooped through Kyungsoo’s things.

Baekhyun had the upper hand this time, forcing Kyungsoo to the ground and refusing to get up until he allowed him to properly make up his face.

“Think of it this way, Soo” Jongdae spoke up from the closet where he was trying on hats. When did he even get those? “You either keep moving and he stabs your eye out, or you stop so he can get it done properly. Either way you end up with eyeliner somewhere you don’t want it.”

Kyungsoo huffed and then stopped squirming. “… Don’t call me Soo.” Baekhyun practically squealed at his unsaid acceptance and set to work making Kyungsoo “ fuckin’ gorgeous”.

He wouldn’t admit it, but he was happy being here with his friends, relaxing for the first time in months. Baekhyun especially was a relief. His friend worried so much during the school year, practically working himself into a panic attack once a week over assignments that weren’t important, let alone the major ones. He became a completely different person during the school year, and Kyungsoo could confidently say that he preferred this version of his friend over the worrisome zombie he was at school.

“Alright, let’s go. Jonghyun won’t be on the clock after 11:30 and if we miss him we’re not getting in.”

They left Kyungsoo’s house and headed to the club that a friend of a friend worked at. Most high schoolers stuck to house parties, but with how connected most people from their high school were, it wasn't completely out of the question for them to have an older friend slip them in once in a while. They made their way to the front of the line, only nodding to Minho, the bouncer at the door, before heading in. 

The music practically slammed into him the moment they walked through the door and the first thing he could see was a crowd of people on the dance floor, thrashing and jumping around like there was no tomorrow. The dark corners were occupied by couples and sketchy individuals while the more lit part of the club was where the bar was at. It was packed with people making orders and trying to pick people up. It was the type of place his parents warned him about, but to Kyungsoo it was perfect; his blood rushed with adrenaline and excitement and he could barely choose where to go first, the bar or the dance floor. The decision was made for him when one of his friends took his hand and led him to the packed counter.

 

Jongin’s night was going great. He finished giving his last exams earlier and could finally focus on things other than teaching a bunch of ignorant teens. He would be the first to admit it: He sucked at teaching. But the school was desperate to find a teacher so as long as his students were passing, he was fine.

He was at a club with is colleague Sehun, getting more wasted than one in his position should be, but right now the only thing he was worried about was keeping himself right side up and insides in; puking in clubs was not his style. Sehun had been teaching at the school for a year longer than Jongin and was much better at his job than Jongin would ever be. The biology teacher was amazing and the students loved him not only for his obviously great looks but also his great style of teaching. It made Jongin wonder what they were so infatuated with when he would barely lift an eyebrow for the students at school, let alone crack a smile.

But school was school and this? This was their night out. Sehun had gone hard. He was blabbering away rapidly Jongin, his ramblings interspersed with obnoxious laughter as he told this story and that story with a charisma that could charm the pants off a nun, only stopping once in a while to get a shot in. The crowd around him was enamored by his handsome face and smooth words, girls fluttering their eyelashes provocatively and some men smirking in invitation. Jongin was in awe.

He himself was another story. He could keep his alcohol in but don’t expect him to be a shining example of hand eye coordination after the amount of drinks he had consumed. His vision was fuzzy and he swayed a bit, drunk enough that the faces of strangers were not sticking but sober enough to still recognize his friend’s blond hair and bubble butt. He giggled a little at the last part, earning himself a few strange looks. After that he decided it was best to dance a little, something he was pretty good at that wouldn’t give him a chance to turn potential partners away by being creepy. He made his way to the crowded dance floor and got lost in the music, moving fluidly to the beat, even in is intoxicated form, and earning a few admirers. Somewhere along the way he ended up with a dance partner. Though the face wasn’t so visible, they moved together well and he was having fun. Even in the low lighting he could tell this boy was a keeper. Upon further inspection he concluded he was probably just as drunk as Jongin was; only someone with alcohol in them would consciously move like that, blinking up at Jongin with a false look of innocence while his body invited Jongin to come closer. He could only oblige. After a while of groping and wildly inappropriate feeling, the mutual decision was made to move the party somewhere else.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mind you, this was written in 2015 when Kyungsoo was relatively smol. happy reading.

Kyungsoo woke up with his whole body hurting. His head pounded and it took a while to remember what exactly caused him to feel so fucking terrible. Oh yeah, the club, the drinks, the dance floor and then the guy he danced with. The same guy, it seemed, who he had gone home with (without telling his friends much of anything if he remembers right).

He opens his eyes to an unfamiliar bedroom and, as he had guessed, an unfamiliar body in the bed next to him. He couldn’t see the guys face, as he was turned away, but he could see enough of his body to know that he had made a pretty good catch. He'd never _actually_ gone home with a someone and so he expected to feel a lot more panic than he did now. But surprisingly, his main concern was getting back to Baekhyun's so that he could sleep away the first week of break and forget this awkward experience. Deciding that he had lingered long enough, he hastily gathered up his clothes and put them on. He wasn't thrilled about the fact that they still smelled like smoke and general club grossness, but he sucked it up considering the situation.

On his way out of the guy’s apartment, however, a thought crossed his mind. From what he remembered, he could say that it was overall a pretty good night, despite not necessarily enjoying waking up in the home of a stranger. Plus, something about the impending void of his last summer break made him want to extend what he expected to be the most exciting moment of his last break as a high schooler. He would later blame his actions on the alcohol still running through his veins, but while he looked around the guy’s room for a scrap of paper he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Soon he found both paper and pen lying on a desk. He thought for a minute about what to say but just decided to be simple and wrote down his number.

Sneaking over to the sleeping man’s side of the bed, he left the note on the guy’s bedside table, trying to a peek at this face in the process. Embarrassingly enough, while he might have remembered some of their, ehem, activities from the night before, he barely knew what this guy looked like when the world wasn't swirling around him. He crept a bit closer to the man's bedside, only for his his heart to stop.

Kyungsoo held back the scream building in his throat and nearly tripped over his feet trying to escape the apartment as quickly but, _dear lord_ , as quietly as possible.

Bursting out the front door, he let his legs take him a down the street, trying his hardest to erase the image in his head. Eventually, the building urge to throw up stopped him in his tracks and he crouched down, ignoring the confused gazes of the other pedestrians in favor of calming himself down. He wasn't sure how much time had passed before he pulled himself together and finally called Baekhyun, trying to sound nonplussed as he faced the barrage of threats, complaints and, what might have been, sobs from the other. Eventually, Kyungsoo filled him in on where he was so that he could finally get the hell out of here. While he waited for Baekhyun’s arrival he thought back to the person he had just left behind and decided, for the sake of both his mind and his reputation, that this entire experience never happened.

 

Jongin woke up feeling like the devil had possessed him and done all the most painful things he could think of with his body. The person he spent the night with was gone but as he came back from getting pills for his aching head, he noticed a scrap of paper on the desk, written in neat handwriting.

 

Text me sometime? Xxx-xxx-xxxx

                -K

He nearly threw the note out since he wasn’t usually the type to have a one night stand, never mind a booty-call. But something had him saving the number in his phone for another time.

 

 

Incidentally, another time came three weeks into the summer vacation. The 24 year old economics teacher returned from his parent’s house, sad and a little disappointed that things turned out the way they always did. His parents ask him what he’s doing, he answers and they find about a thousand reasons why he should be doing something else, clearly forgetting that they are the reason his life was like this in the first place. He liked to think that he could have been a fairly successful dancer if he hadn’t majored in economics, but that’s another thing; he didn’t actually know how true that is. He'd never had any faith in his ability to go far and instead let his parent’s opinions and his own low confidence influence his decision to take the easy way out. He was disgusted with himself, wanted something more out of his life aside from going out once in a while, half-assed teaching and grading papers for teens that know just how much of a shitty teacher he really is. In a swell of false bravery,  he sends a message to the number he saved that night three weeks ago, the mysterious “K”.

 

Five weeks into the summer vacation and Kyungsoo is full of regret. Regret over leaving the note behind when he rushed out, regret over not telling his _teacher_ to fuck off the minute he got a message from him. But more importantly, regret over actually responding to the older man’s messages. At first, he was too scared to say anything. Other people in his position would have no problem ignoring the messages or even blocking the number, but Kyungsoo, the wimp that he is, couldn’t do that and instead gave short responses, trying to convey the fact that he wasn’t interested. But eventually he let his guard down and the conversations became more interesting. At that point it was obvious that Jongin was just reaching out to be friends, so he didn’t worry about it becoming something else. However, Kyungsoo didn’t count on the older man being so entertaining. With time their messages grew into something more personal and friendly. And from there they only went further. Messages started being sent with x’s and ‘miss you’s’ at the end. Kyungsoo couldn’t count the amount of times a simple ‘wish you were here’ had his heart threatening to beat out of his chest.

He didn’t count on the elder being a little bit childish but with a careful of sweetness that sent unwanted flutters to spring up in his stomach. The same butterflies that stopped his thumb from pressing down every time he went to delete the number and instead had him typing out a new message. As the school year grew closer and closer, Kyungsoo felt the initial regret slowly ebbing away, along with his inhibitions.

 

The first day of senior year came around quicker than they both thought. Kyungsoo and Jongin left their homes same as usual, dressed in the same get-up as usual, one sending a message on his phone, anticipating the thought of talking to his anonymous companion again while the other received said message, filled with both dread and excitement at the thought of finally seeing it’s sender.

'First morning back at work! I hope you have a great day wherever you are. x'

Arriving at school was nothing new. Kyungsoo had seen his friends many times over the summer, was practically done with them for all he had seen of them. Despite this, when he entered the school building he was tackled to the ground by Baekhyun, screeching like he hadn’t been over last night eating all of the food in their refrigerator. Jongdae joined the pile as well, mostly just to see the angry look on his friends face while he was smushed into the nasty floor of the school hallway. Another, newer, friend Chanyeol looked about ready to join as well, but the feral look in Kyungsoo’s eyes stopped him short, smiling nervously and coughing out a muffled greeting instead. He hadn’t yet gotten used to being at the receiving end of Kyungsoo’s wrath.

Economics was the fifth and last class of the day. He had a free period afterwards and was about ready to bolt by the time he reached his seat in the third row. It was even worse when he found out that Jongdae didn’t have class the same time as he did; now there was nobody to distract him from the man in the front of the room. He still had Baekhyun but he knew trying to talk to the other during class was a lost cause; As much as he joked around, the elder had intense focus during class time. In fact, Kyungsoo was probably the worst in school out of his friends, which made Jongin’s - ahem, Mr. Kim’s- teaching so much more frustrating.

He looked up to the front of the class room to see his teacher walking in, and he froze, almost as if he was trying not to draw attention to himself. Kyungsoo’s heart practically stopped when the older man’s gaze swept over the classroom, their eyes connecting briefly, and although it was only for a portion of a second, to Kyungsoo it felt like a year. Thankfully, Jongin’s eyes kept moving and made no sign of recognition.

He started class without a hitch.

 

Jongin ended class feeling good. It was his last class of the day and he had successfully surprised the students with his improved teaching skills. Something in him changed since talking to K. He felt better about the path he had chosen and had begun to take some initiative with his job. He took courses for teachers and attended seminars to improve himself. And as much as Jongin would like to blame it on him not wanting to be fired, he knew it was more than that. He had started studying economics and business as a way to satisfy a sense of duty to his parents, but he ended up being quite good at it. It was truly an interesting subject and now that the threat of his parents wasn’t felt as strongly, he could actually enjoy his job, even started to take pride in the fact that he was teaching others about the strangely interesting world of econ.

And it was all thanks to “K”. The other was a good person and easy to talk to. He was straight forward, curt, and surprisingly snarky, but once in a while showed a gentleness that betrayed the hard exterior that he liked to put on. He knew that the other was younger than him, probably still in college, but it seemed he showed a lot more maturity when it came to certain things. He was blunt but still helpful when Jongin needed it, and on occasion cussed Jongin out for being such a “limp-noodle-ass-bitch” when he whined and sulked too much. It probably could have been better phrased but he liked to think it was the kind of tough-love that he needed.

He didn’t know you could get so much out of an anonymous relationship, it probably wasn’t even healthy, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. The other made him happy and he would even go as far as to say he had fallen for him. He just hoped that K felt the same way.

On his way out of the school building a body smacked him to him and fell to the ground before he could reach out a hand to stop them. Jongin steadied himself before reaching out a hand to help the other up. It was a student of his, Kyungsoo if he remembered correctly. He was friends with Jongdae, a quiet boy as far as he knew who had grown even quieter when his friend wasn’t there to bother him.

The boy looked up and he caught a glimpse of his face. He decided that he was handsome. He looked fragile for one his age, not feminine but just small. Something about the boy seemed different today though, familiar to him in a way that extended outside their obvious relationship as student and teacher. Before he could put his finger on it, the Kyungsoo looked up and his eyes seemed to pop out of his face when he saw who it was he had knocked into, causing the elder to chuckle, “Sorry Kyungsoo, I wasn't looking where I was going.”

The boy stammered out an apology and bowed before bolting away. It surprised Jongin since he didn’t remember his student being so shy before. If anything he had always looked at Jongin with disinterest bordering on contempt, though that could just be a side effect of having such thick eyebrows. He moved on before he thought too much on it, walking out of school in the same direction as his student.

 

Kyungsoo walked at a brisk pace towards his friend’s car, berating himself quietly for behaving so strangely in front of his teacher. He was confused. Before, his teacher’s hotness had never really affected him as it was off limits, but this summer changed everything. Even hearing him speak his name felt different now. Kyungsoo was utterly fucked. 

               

They had a pop quiz six weeks into the school year. Jongin’s teaching had stayed at the new and improved level, though he was still the same lovable jokester that the students knew him as. Although, as much as the teaching had improved, he still let his students get away with much more than he probably should have. This was proven by the teasing and light cussing he tolerated during class time, things that he rarely called people out on when he wasn’t teaching.

As much as Kyungsoo would like to complain about all the work he had to do now, he was actually happy. He remembered their conversations over the summer and how disheartened the elder had been over his job and his parents opinions. Kyungsoo’s own mother was pretty chill about what he wanted to do, but Kyungsoo still offered whatever advice he had. It seemed like Kyungsoo’s words had stuck with him and although he could still be wrong, it made his heart race to think that he might have had such an impact on Jongin’s life.

When the quiz started, Jongin kicked back in his seat and took out his phone. Kyungsoo looked down at his paper but was distracted by the sound of his phone going off loudly in the classroom. A loud and immature chorus of ‘ooooohh’ went up and Kyungsoo scowled as he took out his phone to see who had texted him and mute the device. Right as the name ‘Jongin’ with a text underneath opened up on his phone, a larger hand reached out and plucked it out of his grasp, causing him to gasp loudly. His teacher was smiling teasingly, most likely not that mad about the quiz being interrupted, but the smirk froze on his face when he looked at the screen of the phone. Kyungsoo sat frozen while waiting for his reaction, but all he did was lightly put the phone down on the desk, not sparing the younger a look while he walked back to the front of the room. Kyungsoo himself stayed still in his seat, trying not to shake as panic gripped him. Eventually, he began to fill in answers in an attempt to get a hold of himself, but only made it about a third of the way through before it was time to turn their papers in. He kept his gaze turned downward as the same hand from before soundlessly plucked the paper off of his desk.

Kyungsoo held is head down for the rest of the period, hoping to hide his shaking hands and pale face, his lip almost bleeding with how hard he was biting it. When class finished he finally sat up, only to find the room completely empty.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Jongin was panicking. The class he left Kyungsoo in was the period before lunch so he didn’t have to be in back until this afternoon. But that didn’t stop him from worrying. He was more shocked than anything. Seeing that one message from himself on Kyungsoo’s phone had pieced it all together for him and he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe he slept with one of his student but more importantly, he couldn’t believe he didn’t remember it.

His mind was still racing when he entered the teacher’s office. Sehun was the only teacher present, and in a moment of weakness, Jongin blurted out a question.

“Uhhh so just hypothetically speaking…What would hypothetically happen if a teacher hypothetically accidentally slept with a student? Hypothetically, of course.” He stared at Sehun with a straight face, though his state of distress was revealed by his clenching and unclenching fists, along with the beads of sweat gathering on his brow.

Sehun stopped with the sandwich halfway to his mouth. “What?”

“What?”

They stared at each other for a moment longer before Jongin chickened out and grabbed his own lunch, joining Sehun at his desk and trying to play it off. The other teacher never took his eyes away from Jongin, staring at him with an uncharacteristically grave facial expression.

It was quiet for a few more seconds before Sehun sighed and put down his sandwich.

“Well. They would hypothetically lose their job, never be hired again, probably even be thrown in hypothetical jail depending on the age of the student. Hypothetically, of course”

Jongin blanched at the words, his own fears confirmed with that statement. Sehun looked back at his colleague and friend with a look of pity on his face. Jongin didn’t make eye contact.

“I really hope you know what you’re doing, Jongin.” That was the last that was said of the subject. The rest of lunch passed in silence.

 

 

Once the initial shock passed, Kyungsoo started freaking out. He spent the rest of the day deep in thought and before he knew it, the day was over.

An entire week passed with Jongin avoiding him, not making eye contact during class and leaving as soon as school ended. The lack of response was killing him. Eventually, Kyungsoo sought the elder out in an attempt to talk it out, though the elder continued to escape him at all possible interactions. 

At night he lay on his bed for hours, thinking about his blunder.

Although he knew it would have been better for them not to have met, he still couldn’t find it in him to regret it. Jongin was probably angry at him for doing this but he didn’t know what to do. This week of silence had given Kyungsoo a lot of time to think and he eventually realized that he still wanted to be with the elder, even more than they were before. How could he not, now that the man he had fallen for was right in front of him? However, Kyungsoo just wasn’t sure If Jongin felt the same way. As both an adult _and_ as his teacher, he had a lot more to lose in this situation. 

 

 

The days following the disastrous pop quiz were miserable. His little amount of sleep meant he ended up going to school looking like shit. He was absent minded and tired looking, eyes dull with bags underneath them and his hair barely styled before he left home, the opposite of his usual put together look. During lunch he kept his head on the table while staring into space, his brain still running even a week after the incident.

 _I should have told him told him to fuck off earlier. Jongin is probably so embarrassed, he probably wants nothing to do with me, I know I wouldn’t… I’m going to see him once more today and then that’s it, I’ll give up. I’ll go straight from class to his classroom and-_ “Kyungsoo!”

He jumped, breaking his chain of thoughts, to see Jongdae, Baekhyun, Yixing and Chanyeol staring at him questioningly.

“You okay?” Jongdae asked him, concerned. Kyungsoo nodded his head and although the other didn’t seem to buy it, he dropped the subject. They had been asking him what was wrong all week, and by now Jongdae knew not to press. Though for how long he would leave it alone, Kyungsoo was not sure.

“Anyways, are you coming to my house after school? We’re going to study and stuff, maybe watch a movie.”

“No it’s okay,” Kyungsoo replied, “I have to talk to Mr. Kim about something after school. You guys can go ahead.”

“Are you sure? I can wait for you if you want.” Baekhyun offered.

Kyungsoo gave him a small smile, “Nah, it’s okay. Maybe I’ll meet you guys when I’m done.”

And he would, but first he would go to look for Jongin once more. If the man still didn’t want to talk to him then he would give up, he decided.

 

 

Kyungsoo bolted from his last class to catch Jongin before he left. He showed up just as the teacher was leaving the empty classroom, causing the older man to gulp and look around nervously. He'd been lucky enough to have others around every other time Kyungsoo approached him. Short of sprinting away, he had no real excuse to escape the younger now.

“C-can we talk?” Kyungsoo asked. Jongin hesitated but nodded, heading back into the classroom.

Kyungsoo now stood at the front row, shifting nervously while Jongin leaned on the desk across from him. Neither male made eye contact. As the silence stretched on, Kyungsoo started regretting coming here. Obviously this is the sort of thing you should forget when it happens, he should have taken the hint and just-

“You knew?” Jongin spoke up in a low voice.

“H-huh?” Kyungsoo looked up, interrupted from his inner monologue.

“You knew who I was? This whole time?” Jongin looked up this time, his eyes showing a deep hurt that caused Kyungsoo to grimace before he replied, explaining himself.

 

“I only knew once I woke up the next morning. I… I left the note before I actually saw your face and when I did, I forgot it there. A-and I know that I shouldn’t have responded once you texted me but, I just, I was too scared to do that.  I wanted to cut you off so many times you know? But I just…couldn’t. I..." He breathed in before he moved on, trying to steel himself. "I really like you. Actually, I think I might even be in love with you. You’re my teacher, and I understand that it’s not right to ask this of you but could we please...try? I know it’s not fair or convenient for you and I’m sorry for deceiving you. But you should know that I my feelings are real, that ‘this’,” He gestured helplessly at the space between them. “wasn’t and never will be a game to me. That is, if you would give me a chance.”

 Jongin seemed to think for a moment, before replying.

“And what is ‘this’?” He asked gesturing in the same way that Kyungsoo had, almost mocking him. “Because as far as I’m concerned, this isn’t anything.”

“What?” Kyungsoo’s shoulders slumped, along with his heart.

“Look, Kyungsoo, you’re a good person and I’m flattered but I can’t do ‘this’. I won't lie to you and say I don't care about you but this is my job. My life, you know? I can’t risk it for some fling that will probably ruin me.” He paused and Kyungsoo stood shocked at the outright rejection. He had thought that Jongin would show some sort of hesitation, but it seemed the elder’s feelings weren’t as deep as he thought. How could he be so cold?

“It’s better if we just stop talking outside of class, okay? Forget it happened and just…delete my number. I’ll delete yours too." He paused, seemingly unsure of what to say. "I guess I'll... see you on tomorrow.” He finished before walking to the door of the classroom. Kyungsoo couldn’t believe it. Jongin was just going to leave? Just like that?

“I’ll tell.” Kyungsoo’s voice was strained, the words dropping like a stone in the heavy atmosphere between them and surprising even Kyungsoo himself. He floundered for something else to say, anything to make it better. “I-I mean you- we-“ He kept stuttering. All the while, Jongin looked back at the other with a shocked face, hurt showing through his features while he just shook his head disbelievingly. He gave the other one more disappointed look before leaving.

Kyungsoo stared at the door and let the burning in his throat take over. His shoulders shook and his tears spilled over as he finally let himself go.

 

Jongin sat in his car, reeling over the interaction he'd just had. His head was spinning. He truly wasn't prepared to see the other look so broken like that, and a stupid part of him was ready to do anything to erase pain he knew his words had caused. He was hurt that the other had kept this from him, but even scarier was the fact that his feelings hadn't really wavered after finding out his identity. If he was being honest though, he couldn't understand why Kyungsoo was so determined to chase after him. He was still young, he had time to find someone else so why him? Despite his subpar academic performance, Jongin _knew_ how smart the other was, knew even better after a summer of texting the guy. So he should be fully aware of how impossible this situation was, how dumb Jongin would be to let himself get mixed up in this kind of a relationship with a student, and how fucked they would be if someone happened to find out about it. 

As K, Kyungsoo had spent many evenings urging him to do what was right, to suck it up and deal with the choices he had made, despite wishing for the situation to be different. So why did he now have to act as the voice of reason? Why was this any different? It was hard enough having to control his own urge to just say fuck it, now Kyungsoo himself, basically the object of his affections, was urging him to do he same despite knowing the risks. It was obvious that his threat to expose them was out of desperation, but rather than turn him away, all it did was confuse him further. How could the younger be so selfish?

 _Perhaps that's just how strong his feelings are._

He groaned and let his head thump onto his steering wheel, hoping to beat the rebellious thoughts out of his head. 

 

Kyungsoo banged on Jongdae’s door frantically, hoping his friend would open up already so no one would see his red eyes and tear stained cheeks.

“Who the hell-!?” When the door finally opened, Jongdae was surprised to see the usually stoic Kyungsoo looking so freaked out.

“Jongdae.” The younger muttered, hiccupping as the tears started up again, “I really fucked up.”

With that he collapsed back into sobs, clutching onto his friend for dear life.

 

 

“Wow” Baekhyun and Jongdae were shocked once Kyungsoo finished explaining the situation. Chanyeol and Yixing had left earlier and they were in a big pile in front of the couch, both older boys holding Kyungsoo in the middle while they listened to his story. Jongdae had his head resting on Kyungsoo’s shoulder while Baekhyun ran his fingers through the teary boy’s hair.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo sniffled.

“Geez Kyungsoo, you’re supposed to be the responsible one! I can’t believe this sort of thing is happening to you of all people. Plus with Mr. Kim… was he any good?” Jondgae glared at the other male and reached over to smack his head.

“What he means to say, Soo, it that you of all people should know better than to be in this situation. But I guess even you make mistakes sometimes." He paused, all of them lost in thought. "That doesn’t mean you can’t fix them though.”

“You think so?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Well, think of it from this perspective. He seems to really care about you, you know? I can’t exactly speak for him but I think he was trying to do the right thing today by rejecting you. It’s a really bad place for him to be in, you know that. He could lose everything if the wrong people found out.”

“So what do I do?” Kyungsoo asked, pout deepening.

“I think you know what you should do, Kyungsoo.” This time it was Baekhyun speaking up.

The younger boy grumbled about how needlessly cryptic the other was but nodded in agreement, already dreading the next day at school.

 

 

The last period of the day found Jongin exactly where he was the day before, this time preparing a lesson behind his desk. Kyungsoo had come to him asking if he could have a moment. He would have said no, except the younger’s tone told him that it was probably something important. He spoke very formally and only called him Mr. Kim, none of the familiarity from the day before present in his voice. It was how it should have been, but it made Jongin feel weird; it was like there was no other relationship between them. He guessed there really wasn't.

He walked up to the desk in the classroom and handed Jongin a slip of paper. He blinked twice before taking it, and looked at the words printed at the top

His blood ran cold. “You want to…switch classes?” Jongin looked up at the younger, surprised by the sudden change.

“Yeah.” The younger said, looking sad but resolute. “Well, besides that I want to apologize for what I said yesterday. I would never say anything, just so you know. I understand that this is bad, I’m not an idiot, it’s just… I didn’t want you to leave.” The younger got an even sadder look on his face and Jongin’s heart dropped, not wanting him to continue but still not interrupting his speech. “But I decided to do what’s right, which is why I’m prepared to pretend like this never happened. That’s why I need you to give me permission to change classes… It’s not really ideal for senior year, but I don’t think I can handle being in the same room as you. If I do that I’ll never get over you.” He laughed but the sound only broke Jongin’s heart further.

He looked up at the other, suddenly remembering why he had liked him in the first place. He was proud of him for doing this but now he was even more conflicted. Despite battling himself in his head the day before, he somehow still found himself playing out scenarios where they were together in his head. Thinking about it, it was kind of scary to just let go of the person who had helped him change his life around. As much as he believed his choices were all for himself, the idea of becoming a better, happier person for the day when they finally met never fully left the back of his head. K, or he guesses now, _Kyungsoo_ had become his strength. He was there when he was lonely, and pushed him when he needed it. He made him happier than he'd been on his own. More than all of that, he was a dear friend. No more random late night messages or anyone to tolerate his teasing shenanigans or complain about his courses with. Now he had to ask himself if he was really prepared to give that up. 

 

He looked up at the other, slowly taking the sheet of paper from him. He saw Kyungsoo knit his eyebrows, trying to look unaffected but only managing to look more wretched than he did before.

Sighing, he ripped the paper up and let the scraps settle on the desk between them. Kyungsoo’s mouth dropped open and they both stared at the little pile of papers before looking at one another. Jongin looked nervous but determined, and after some obvious thought he got up and walked around the desk while the younger recovered and began to sputter helplessly.

“You- Why-” He was interrupted by Jongin gently grabbing his shoulders and pulling him in, embracing Kyungsoo tightly in a warm hug.

He buried his face in the boy’s hair before sighing.

“This is not a good idea.” He started. “But I want to take back what I said. I know it might be a little sudden, but you’re very special to me, Kyungsoo. ” He looked down at the younger boy, expecting a smile or at the lease, surprise, but was surprised when he was roughly shoved away.

“Are you kidding me?” Kyungso growled out. Jongin blinked, not understanding the sudden change.

“Are you even taking this seriously?” Kyungsoo scolded him, but there were angry tears in his eyes. “After the way you rejected me yesterday, how am I supposed to believe that you're not going to just chicken out the next time things get tough? You’ve been running away and avoiding me all week, even denying that we had anything between us, but then you just suddenly change your mind like it’s not going to affect me. It’s all so convenient for you but what about me?” He finished his rant breathing heavily, with the tears from before running down his face.

Jongin was shocked, but he also felt guilt. Extreme guilt, actually. He wasn't exactly proud of his cowardly ways, but he felt even worse for not fully thinking through how it would make Kyungsoo feel. Slowly, he stepped closer, gauging the others response before he attempted to hold both of the other's hands between them. 

“I really hurt you, didn’t I?…” All he got in response was a sniff.

“To be honest, I don't really have an excuse for how I've been acting. But you have to believe me when I say that I did what I thought was best, even though it was shitty of me to act like you didn't mean anything to me. I see that now. But I’ll make it up to you. We're not strangers to one another, you know I'm kind of a dumbass." Kyungsoo snorted. " _But_ you also know that I'm not the type to purposefully pay with your feelings. Could you please have some faith in me?” He looked at him earnestly for a response.

After a few seconds Kyungsoo spoke up once more. “You really mean that?”

Jongin sighed. “It’s not going to be easy. We can't date openly, hell, we can barely meet in public without a school related reason. And we definitely can't allow what happened that first night to happen again. But, I promise to do my best to make it work, I won’t leave again." He paused, gulping, "I l-love you, Kyungsoo. I mean it.” He finished, his heart beating loudly in his chest.

“That was pretty corny.” Kyungsoo blurted out, finally looking up at him. Jongin blinked back at him in confusion. “I appreciate the sentiment and I feel the same way, but I think we should establish early on that I'm physically incapable of saying those words back to you.”

Jongin laughed and held him closer, relief spreading though his whole body, “Aw don't lie, you said it the other day. You _love~_ me.”

“Ugh, I take it all back, leave me alone.” He swatted at the elder, pouting as he wiped his cheeks. How much has he cried in the past two days?

Jongin laughed once more, and leaned down, waiting for the other's approval before he kissed him. And despite the tears and shaking lips beneath his, it was more perfect than he could have imagined.

 

 

______________

 

“Did you really mean it about not having sex yet?”

 “Kyungsoo.”

“Jongin.”

"Jongin _hyung_ "

"…"

“We’ll talk when you turn 18. It’s next month right?”

“Two months, actually.”

“…Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this wasn't as painful to read for you as it was for me. I'd like to think my writing and outlook on life generally has gotten better since I wrote this but...that is to be determined if I ever post another story <3


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